Premarital counselling

Premarital counselling is a calm, neutral space for you and your partner to discuss and plan your future life together.

A counsellor can help guide you through these discussions so that they are productive.
Premarital counselling requires participation from you BOTH, so both of you should be willing to give it a try. If your partner is reluctant, explain why it is important to YOU and what you hope to gain from it.
Plan on attending at least 2 one-hour sessions, to have enough time to explore relevant questions, and to solve any problems arising.

As we talk, I will observe the dynamic between you and your partner, and mention any areas for improvement. We will aim to uncover any areas of disagreement, and work out realistic solutions.
Premarital counselling will involve discussing important aspects of your future life together, including:

-choosing to be married or not?
-what do marriage and committment mean to you?
-financial planning - money matters!
-decision-making - how will you handle important decisions?
-family/friend relationships
-your communication styles
-conflict management
-gain understanding of your partners beliefs, values, religion, priorities, and routine.
-sexual intimacy - how is it going so far? any unspoken desires?
-children - yes or no - parenting style?

Warning: Areas of disagreement may arise - these can nearly always be worked out. After all, you had a strong intention to be married. Do not let a few bumps in the road put you off.

Benefits of Premarital Counselling:
-Learn constructive communication
-Develop conflict resolution skills
-Focus on the positive aspects
-Uncover potential problems EARLY
-Highlight and eliminate dysfunctional behaviour
-Build decision-making processes
-Alleviate fears related to marriage

Warning: Although premarital counselling aims to help strengthen the bond between you and your partner, it could also expose irreconcilable differences. For instance, not wanting to have children could be a deal-breaker for one of you. In that case, you and your partner are better off discovering and discussing these issues BEFORE you get married.