Affairs: The Research...

Here are some statistics from an American survey based on the responses from 1,083 people whose spouses had affairs. How many counsellors did you see?

• 27% - one
• 26% - two
• 47% - three or more

This shows that only a quarter of couples found the right counsellor first time around! Imagine wasting that much time while you're trying to get help. Was the counsellor helpful?

• 57% - No, mostly frustrating
• 23% - Yes, but not as helpful as I would have liked
• 20% - Yes, very helpful

These figures tell us that only a very few counsellors (20%) are able to handle the work of helping couples recover from an affair. Did the counsellor encourage honest communication about the affair?

• 23% - No, encouraged us to quickly cover highlights, then move on
• 45% - Yes, but for a short time and to a limited degree only
• 32% - Yes, very supportive of ongoing honest discussion

This clearly illustrates that only one third (32%) of counsellors have the courage, experience, and training to tackle this difficult work head-on. Did the counsellor focus directly on the issue of affairs?

• 59% - No, mainly focused on general marital problems
• 28% - Yes, but not as strongly or clearly as I would have liked
• 13% - Yes, very directly dealt with the affair

These numbers show that only a tiny percentage of therapists can do this work. You absolutely MUST find a professional counsellor who REALLY specializes in helping couples recover from affairs. Make sure you start your "Affair Recovery" with the right person!

Why choose me? Helping couples recover from an affair is around half of my work. Professor Dave Mearns of Strathclyde University says that counsellors should have the qualities of fearlessness and stillness. I have both of these qualities, which are so essential in helping couples recover from an affair.

Throughout the sessions, I will keep you on track, towards a full and complete recovery. I will encourage you to talk about the affair, and to schedule reviews of your progress. This prevents the useless and fatal error of "Putting it under the carpet".